You wake up feeling like you’ve had no sleep.
You bring your baby downstairs and feed them breakfast while nursing a brew already thinking how you can keep them entertained for another day.
You have hardly any money to do anything, and it’s pissing it down and the daunting day in the house dawns on you.
You try every toy, every silly face, every song and every silly dance to make them smile and laugh, but soon they’re moaning and crying again.
It’s frustrating for both of you.
They’re growing so fast and their almost new toys are boring, they’ve grown out of their jumperoo which was once the saviour and there’s not enough room in the house for them to potter about in the walker.
You hold them up and walk around supporting them which they enjoy, but it hurts your back and before long you have to sit them down again, which is when the moaning starts again.
The house is a mess, the pots are in the sink, the dusting and hoovering desperately needs doing.
You try to keep it together and stay positive for your baby.
You don’t want them to see you cry but you feel like a failure.
Why can’t I entertain my own baby?
Are they bored of me?
What am I doing wrong?
Why can’t they crawl yet?
That’s why they’re so frustrated, but the more you try to encourage it the less they seem to try.
The day is so long and it’s not even the afternoon.
But you know you have to make it through.
Everyone else seems to be doing fine.
Soon bedtime will come around, and you’ll give them their last feed, everything will be calm and you’ll look into each other’s eyes and feel a connection like no other.
You know tomorrow will be just as hard, but in that moment everything is perfect and you struggle to remember why is was so bad today.
We have such a tough job, being the sole caregiver for our babies. It’s so demanding and takes every bit of our energy and emotions.
It’s a lifetime job that we’ll moan about and cry about, but the love we feel is indescribable. So we carry on, hoping that they’ll turn out okay and they’ll finally say “I love you” back.
I’m struggling today, and that’s okay.